I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Umm I'm too high to move.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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