nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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