Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
