I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
