The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
