i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
