so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
