i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Randomize
