dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
