I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
