Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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