Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
