i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
