im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
