I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
