I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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