Whod you bang
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
