so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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