and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
