I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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