Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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