You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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