She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize