I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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