She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
