That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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