break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
