no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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