I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
