at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My butt remains clenched, sir.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
