Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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