there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i drank out of a bidet.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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