just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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