We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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