it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i think my cat just said my name.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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