So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My vagina is very pro this idea
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
