you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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