I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
