I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
