I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
