Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
