we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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