I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
they call him Oral-B. enough said
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
