going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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