In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize