My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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