I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize