Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
