She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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