Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
