turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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