Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
