his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Bring me that man meat
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
