My nipple is on Facebook.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize