omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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