it hurts more in the daytime
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
