My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
