my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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