I cockslap morals
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
