Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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