Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
