Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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