Duck Duck Cougar?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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