repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
