We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't think brook has ever known best
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
