That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
