ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize